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Ted is a 1970s Venice Beach poet who spends his days drifting along the boardwalk, reciting his poetry to anyone who will listen. His life changes when a bikini-clad beauty named Linda strolls by him. Instantly, Ted believes he's found his "Venus" and becomes obsessed with Linda. He tries to woo her with poetry, obscene phone calls and romantic overtures, all to disastrous effect.
Ted Whitley
Max Waters
Linda Turner
Colette
Gloria
Herb
Grace
Homeless Vietnam Veteran
Ted's Attorney
District Attorney
Judge William H. Converse
Judge Katherine Notch
Bailiff
Publisher
Bag Lady
Lisa
Shelly
Marcia
Marcia's Elderly Boyfriend
Mrs. Turner
Linda's Grandmother
Rose
Poetry Award Presenter
Nevermore Club Emcee (as Jack Eastland)
Nurse
Orderly
Patient #1
Patient #2
Patient #3
Waitress with Attitude
Guest
Women's Group Head
Women's Group #1
Women's Group #2
Women's Group #3
Ted's Cellmate
Prisoner #1
Prisoner #2
Prisoner #3
Prison Guard
Chainsaw Juggler
Horseback Rider
Wino
Park Bench Lover
Park Bench Lover
Cop #1
Cop #2
Cop #3
Cop #4 (as Lawrence McNeal III)
Cop #5
Beach Blanket Lover
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